and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
