wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
