do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
