At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
