I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
