And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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