people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
