Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
