Banned from zoo.
Again?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize