At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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