im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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