My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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