I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
