I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
