please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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