Yo dont text me then not text me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
