What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize