I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
