no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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