Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
