so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
