I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
