his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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