he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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