barbara walters just said penis...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
