OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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