Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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