just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
