I CAN MOONWALK!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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