Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
