i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
