It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
