We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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