I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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