Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
