WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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