mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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