my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
