I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
