Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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