thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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