Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
