oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
