At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
