This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think i have herpe
just one?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
