Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize