dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You need a sexual gate keeper
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
