Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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