So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
