Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
