It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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