i jhust puked up my retainher.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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