so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
