My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
