she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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