We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize