i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
