who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
