Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
