Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
